Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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(705): View more from Ontario

All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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(503): View more from Oregon

Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.

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