the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
