Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
