Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
