my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
They should really pass out barf bags in church
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
