direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
