Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's official drugs can't kill me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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