Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
