Pants 0. Shit 1.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
