What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
