Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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