hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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