I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sober January is a disaster.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
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