I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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