I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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