Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
