Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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