East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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