Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize