I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
