No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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