I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
