Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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