did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize