im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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