I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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