Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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