I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
