How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
