Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
