You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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