Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
