The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
