i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
