Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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