escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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