Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
