after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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