I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
