12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
