No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize