I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
