I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
