so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
