took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
