Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
