Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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