it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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