I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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