The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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