Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
