so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
