I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
