We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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