so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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