Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
