dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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