I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize