It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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