gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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