O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
