she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
