There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
