I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
