Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
