I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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