Kiss
Puke
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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